The Ins and Outs of Vanderpump Rules

Call the Vanderpump Rules cast almost anything you want.  In all likelihood (1) they’ve heard it before, and (2) it’s pretty darn accurate.  From Jax’s first denial that he cheated and got a girl pregnant in Vegas (he did) to Schwartz’s blacked-out hookups with strangers (he’s married and it’s STILL happening) to Stassi’s first season claim that she is the devil (she is, but in the best way possible), they clearly deserve most of what is thrown their way.

That is, of course, unless you call them “boring.”

The show’s reunion only filmed two months ago, but clearly, a lot had happened between the time that the Vanderpump sixth season left off and the reunion picked up.  Read on for the highlights of the cast’s most recent relationship evolutions.

OUT

Stassi and Patrick

By FINALLY agreeing to film this season, Stassi’s (now ex) boyfriend Patrick let us all in on why he hasn’t been in front of the Vanderpump cameras before.  The reason? In a show chock-full of awful people, his behavior shines through as the literal worst.  In some twisted way, I suppose that’s a sign of achievement – but one that we (hopefully) will be seeing no more.

Lisa and Faith

For someone with approximately two minutes of screen time this season, not to mention an entirely different show on another network, Faith has miraculously managed to keep her relevance running strong during the Vanderpump reunion.  Of course, her claim-to-reunion-fame was Lisa Vanderpump’s accusation that Faith stirred a (weird) sex scandal in order to claw back onto the show.  But even if that was the case, it clearly worked – so points to Faith for this one.

Lala and James

Following a heated dispute over what may or may not have literally been pasta, James an Lala seemed to have smoothed over their differences by the sixth season’s end.  Unfortunately for them (but fortunately for the rest of us), the reconciliation just wasn’t meant to be.

With social media rumblings running strong, not to mention the uncomfortable look on Stassi’s face as she was caught in the crossfire of their reunion swipes, it’s clear that this on-again/off-again alliance is once again in flux.

IN

Jax and Brittany

From a cheating scandal straight out the gate to some questionable moves by a Reiki master, Jax’s days with Brittany seemed numbered.  And if the signs of relationship implosion weren’t sufficiently strong, his post-coitus decision to dump Brittany at the end of the season certainly was.

But no.  By the time the reunion filmed, the couple was back to gleefully glossing over last summer’s exploits.  With Jax emoting just the right amount of mournful contrition, and Brittany’s bubbly southernisms on overdrive, these two are clearly determined to keep the crazy in full gear for the foreseeable future.

Katie and Lala

Through the lens of history, it seemed pretty hopeless. Between the topless tossup of ‘16, the winter body battle of ‘17, and its subsequent back-alley showdown, the logical conclusion was unavoidable. Katie and Lala seemed destined for season after season of delightfully petty bickering.

Then again, logic rarely (if ever) is in the cards for this cast.  Who can say what has driven Katie and Lala’s reunion reconciliation?  Castmate Scheana Marie would (and did) say that it was part of Katie’s campaign to redeem her image after taking a brutal social media bashing last season.  And so long as this cast is keeping things strictly surface level (where it matters the most), that pretty much tracks.

Martin Scorsese and Vanderpump Rules

With Lala’s claim (presumably sourced via her producer boyfriend) that Martin Scorsese is a fan of Vanderpump Rules, I’m calling it now.  Vanderpump’s going mainstream.  Look out baseball – Lisa Vanderpump just may have a new national pastime up her reliably gaudy sleeve.

The third (and final) part of the Vanderpump Rules reunion airs on Bravo on Monday, May 21 at 9pm Eastern.  Catch up on the full sixth season, now available on demand.

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